Healing Connections

I became a therapist because I wanted to know how to truly be there for people — to respond in ways that actually helped. I wanted to understand their stories and know what to say in hard moments. So I studied, trained, and learned all the things I set out to learn. But the reason I continue this work today is for the moments of healing that happen in my office — moments of real human connection.

As I sit in my office, I look up at the man in front of me. He’s a muscular, manly man — covered in tattoos, with a thick beard to keep him warm in the winter. And he is crying.

These are not just today’s tears. They are the tears of his younger self — tears that have lived quietly in his body for decades. He is feeling pain he’s spent most of his life trying to escape. And as his story unfolds, we realize this pain is not new. It is old pain. Generational pain. Passed down through his family like a silent inheritance.

It’s no one’s fault. It’s just what trauma does — it moves through families until someone stops to feel it.

He tells me about the things he did to avoid it: drugs, women, fighting. Familiar paths of distraction and numbness.Then, suddenly — there he is. The little boy inside him. Frightened. Tender. Exposed.

I know he needs comfort. And I know he will have to learn to give it to himself. As he starts to do that — gently, awkwardly, bravely — something shifts. He begins to feel hopeful. He feels it in his chest, in his arms, in his breath. He can see his path now, and he knows what to do. He has the tools. He can break the cycle.

We go over time. Because I have the time, and this moment matters. I want to honor him. I want to honor what’s happening. I want him to know he is important, and he doesn’t have to rush. He is here to do the work, and so am I. He is healing in front of me. The cycle is breaking.

We make eye contact.

I see you.

You are important.

I go home to my kids and family. I am happy to be with them and love them. Will I pass on an intergenerational wound to them? May be. I hope not. But if I do, I hope they find someone to talk to that they can feel safe with. A human connection that they can relax into and find healing.

“Out of your vulnerabilities, comes your strength."                                                         - Sigmund Freud